If you’re like most people, you’ve probably fallen victim to this type of thinking:

“I promised myself I wouldn’t eat any junk food, but I ate a cookie so I might as well eat the rest of these cookies. I’ll start my diet all over again tomorrow.”

“I want to quit smoking, but I caved and had a cigarette. Maybe I’ll try to quit some other time.”

“I don’t have time to go to the gym every day, so I can’t start an exercise program right now.”

This kind of all-or-nothing thinking will destroy your health and kill your motivation to lose weight, get in shape, or become healthier. The all-or-nothing mentality basically says that if you can’t be perfect, then you can’t make ANY improvements or smart decisions. Clearly, this is nonsense.

You will not eat perfectly 100% of the time. Even if you could, who would want to?

Sometimes you will miss a workout. Some weeks, you may miss all of them. This does not mean that you can never exercise.

Every aspect of your life – your health, your attitude, your career, your relationships – is the result of the sum of the decisions that you make on an ongoing basis. Whatever you do most of the time, that’s what you get.

Improving yourself – whether it’s losing weight, living healthier, exercising more, managing your stress levels, or whatever is important to you – requires making smart decisions most of the time. When you screw up, let it go and focus on the next decision.

Let’s examine the folly of the all-or-nothing thinking. Taking the cookie example:

You’re trying to lose weight, so you intend to stay away from junk food. You eat a cookie. The all-or-nothing thinking tells you, “Well, I didn’t stay away from junk food, so I have failed. Therefore, nothing I do for the rest of the day matters, so I might as well pile on more foolish decisions for the rest of the day, and then try to get back on track tomorrow.”

Can you see how ridiculous this line of thinking is? OF COURSE what you do for the rest of the day matters. You made a bad choice, so what? Get the next 12 choices right. Don’t sabotage yourself by abdicating sensibility for the rest of the day. Every decision matters, so make a good one next time.

Let’s take another example: In the context of rehabilitation for substance use, the all-or-nothing mindset can be particularly detrimental. Imagine someone in rehab who relapses and thinks, “I’ve failed completely, so there’s no point in continuing.” This is a classic case of all-or-nothing thinking. Successful recovery programs, however, emphasize learning from relapses rather than viewing them as total failures. They encourage individuals to understand the triggers, learn from the experience, and continue their journey toward recovery. This approach mirrors the idea of making smart decisions most of the time, recognizing that progress is about consistency and resilience, not perfection.

Expecting yourself to be perfect will always fail you. If you’re banking on perfection in order to make any progress, you will never succeed!

Something else to consider is how all-or-nothing behavior makes you feel. Strict deprivation leads to a willpower struggle that will always fail you eventually. Then all-or-nothing thinking leads to overindulgence and sabotage. Follow that up with the inevitable guilt and shame of failure and foolish behavior. No wonder it’s hard to stay motivated!