I had a conversation with a client this week about her resistance to change. In a nutshell, she said:
“I need a more organized and planned life, but when I organize or plan, I don’t want to do it anymore because it turns to an obligation. And I hate to be pushed. Healthy behaviors feel like punishment – just another thing I have to do.”
Of course, we all know that better decisions and healthier choices aren’t punishment. Treating your body badly is punishing yourself. But how do you change that “punishment” thinking? Why the resistance to change?
Overcoming Resistance To Change
Let’s reframe all this so that you can stop spinning your wheels and actually GET SOMEWHERE with your intentions.
Fact: You don’t HAVE to do anything differently than you have been.
But many people choose to, even though sometimes it’s hard.
Because they decided that the benefits outweigh the fear of change.
They know they will feel better than they do right now. They can see that health, confidence, empowerment, and happiness are all there for the taking if you’re willing to step out of your comfort zone.
It’s human nature to avoid discomfort. Change can be uncomfortable. Doing something different can feel scary. We seek pleasure and we avoid discomfort, it’s instinct.
Our short-term irrational mind only focuses on the right now. It couldn’t care less about the future.
Goals? Desires? Intentions? Aspirations? Priorities? What are those?
All the Fearful Mind cares about is comfort right now.
How do you overcome the Fearful Mind and stay in the Powerful Mind?
- Focus on why you want to be slimmer and healthier
- Focus on how you will feel
- Focus on how you will look
- Focus on what you’ll be able to wear
- Focus on what you’ll be able to do
When each decision time comes, focus on all the ways your life will be better.
For example, don’t say to yourself: “I can’t have those cookies.”
Say, “Instead of cookies, I’m going to eat something that’s good for me.”
You’ll feel proud and accomplished. Another win. Another smart decision under your belt. Making a healthy decision is a PLUS, not a denial.
You will never look back and regret a healthy choice. You will never shoot yourself in the foot with smart decisions. Think about how good you’ll feel about yourself 30 minutes from now.
Replace the word “should” with “I want to”
We do what we want, not what we should.
“Should” feels like an obligation.
Instead, think “choose to” and “want to”. It’s empowering and rewarding, and those are the feelings that reinforce behaviors.
When you use words like “choose” and “want,” it automatically leads you to thinking about the results that your smart decision will bring you.
I want to exercise because I always feel great afterwards. I want to eat healthfully because I feel successful and energized, and I don’t like how I feel when I eat like crap.
I want to plan my food, because I know planning is the key to consistency, and consistency leads to results.
When you approach it this way, it turns healthy choices from something you ‘should’ do or ‘have’ to do into something you WANT to do for yourself.
It’s much easier to do what you WANT, so keep in mind that what you really want isn’t junk food!
Contact me for help with resistance to change. Together we’ll make some positive changes to your health and your waistline!